Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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