I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You left your phone here
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