Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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