and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
