All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
from now on my penis is your penis
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I have fence marks all over my body
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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