last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
