foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
