so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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