Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
