my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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