We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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