is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
