I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
