yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
