Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
