Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just googled if crying burns calories
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
