Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
