What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
