it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
