spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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