She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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