She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Green mimosas i think yes
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
