Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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