You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
