He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
