apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
