i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
