Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
being pregnant is like rehab
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
