In the future we'll all be gay
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
