haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
