I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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