I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
