I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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