Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
