drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I checked into jail on foursquare
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
