i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Shame - the story of my life.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
