1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
