It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The ass gains better be worth it
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