didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I think my moral compass just broke
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
