What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
