we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
