Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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