I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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