In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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