Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I need a beard to bite.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize