am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
