He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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