how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
