I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
