She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The beer is more important than you right now.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
