Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
