Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Randomize
