this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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