well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
