Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
