i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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