I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
we're chasing vodka with high fives
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
