Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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