I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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