she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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