You're so nebulous sometimes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
