oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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